Deciding that I needed some curry leaves for my Nasi Goreng Cincai back at my family home this morning, I stepped out into Ummi's little herb corner just outside our kitchen door. For some reason, we don't use that door much these days ever since Ummi's passing. Well, pardon me...but before I go off-track and start everything with "Ever since Ummi's passing..." let me just stick to what I really came here for.
I opened the door, slipped into an old pair of selipar Jepun, and walked straight to where Ummi's pokok kari is. Just then I realized that out of nowhere, reaching out for the leaves...I was but smiling!
There was this... faint, can't-put-my-finger-on but... vividly fresh, morning breeze of some sort, greeting me like I was an Alice in Wonderland! And I kept on inhaling more of that breeze, thinking two things. One, I hoped nobody saw me. Two, I wouldn't get this from my own back door . My back door leads me to no herb corner. In fact, my back door doesn't even lead me out!
Perhaps it was the pokok kari. Perhaps it was the memory of Ummi.
Whatever it was, when I realized that there were more of those pokok kari and it's anak-anak peaking out from the grass and the dried leaves around it, I took it as a sign.
Silly I know.
It doesn't matter what sign I took it as. No, not to you.
This morning, as I decided to get some curry leaves from Ummi's little herb corner, I let myself be spoken to.
And all the way back to KL later, without saying a word, I felt like I have told Ummi everything I wanted to...