Aidil Adha semalam, genaplah 50 hari Ummi pergi. Whether or not we've let her go, she's gone. She wont be there when we go home. She wont be there, anywhere, anymore.
And like I have failed a few things in life, I have failed writing about her. Even that. I'd feel miserable. And I'd indeed failed miserably.
I'm aware of what yesterday was. I did. But as if life had to be punished, nobody was home to celebrate it. But then again, maybe it's that, that we walked away from. Celebrating.
So...no rendang, no baju Raya this time.
But if death is what life is about, then we are dealing with it, celebrating or mourning, together or alone.
It hasn't been easy. Still, I pray that it will never be.