You know what, sometimes i wish i was always more skeptical and thought only the worst in people like when i was on this flight to KK recently, a man who was sitting next to me kept helping with stuff like making sure the air-cond thingy above my head was perfectly directed at me or unlatch-ing the tray table for me so he could place my meal box on it because i was too dopey to do it myself. I wish i had cursed him for making me so vulnerable or thinking that i was such a child but instead...I thanked him for his kindness and reminded myself not to fall for Sabahan guys because he was a Sabahan as much as i can claim myself to be and because i heard from somewhere that Sabahan guys are such a charmer.
And then there was this other Sabahan guy whom i met on my second day in KK who offered help when i was simply looking for a switch to plug in my laptop and i really didn't need his help or hoping for any even though it did speed things up when he pointed to me where the switch was and plugged it in for me.
I should have hated his audacity to even suggest that i was clumsy and hopeless but i thanked him too for being helpful and Sabahan and all.
And then before i boarded my flight home, there was this one particular Sabahan guy whom i had to stop right by and say Hello and pass my IC and Entry Slip to. I smiled my friendliest smile knowing that he'd be the only one of the other Sabahan guys who got to see my IC and everything else that's on it.
"You're a Sabahan?" he asked.
I was ready to tell him the story of my life but when I looked at him and saw that he wasn't trying to be friendly about it i just said, "Well, I was born here." I was probably trying to kill two birds with a 'safe' answer though i wasn't quite sure what kind of 'safety' i was actually hoping for. I stood there wearing the same smile on my face, regardless.
"Your parents are Sabahan?" he asked, still not smiling as he started typing something on the computer, probably my IC number.
"No. My mom is bla bla bla and my dad is bla bla bla.."
"So you're a West Malaysian" he said.
I hesitated for a few seconds. "Oh ok."
"Where do you work? Where are you staying?"
"I work in bla bla bla.."
"You're a West Malaysian. You were just born here." he said.
Err ok, sure.
Wait. Did i sense triumph in his voice?
And that's where this newly adopted spirit came from.
I now hate myself for seeing only the good in people. I hate myself for not being prejudice and sarcastic and not thinking that the world is always out to get me the moment i said Hi. I hate realizing that i should have been nasty only AFTER people have been unkind to me.
I don't need him to tell ME what or who i am! I can come from the moon for all i care but what is it to him?
Can anyone tell me what his God d**n problem is?!
The next time i'm in Sabah, i should really enlighten him on the non-existance of West Malaysia or East Malaysia. Nak claim the whole world to be yours pun make sure la your facts are right k?