Did you know that i'm my mother's daughter? Yes, i'm Umi's girl , even my sisters would agree. You wouldn't doubt me if you've met us, Umi and i. We look so alike we could be twins except that she's not my twin, she's my mom. Anyone who doesn't know me would know me if they know Umi. I am my mom's younger version. I know how i will look like when i'm 60 if i get to be 60 and i bet i remind Umi of how she looked like when she was younger except that right now she doesn't remember much anymore.
Now I remember when i was young, i always woke up to her getting dressed in our one-bedroom house in Kampung Jana. She usually had her kain batik on for which she used Abah's green army belt to tighten around her waist and a pretty 80's blouse to match. Then she'd brush her always long hair and would either braid it or have it in a bun. Never did she let her hair loose except when she had just washed it. And my favourite part was watching her putting on her make up which she never actually put on much except for her Angel's Face compact powder and a celak for her eyebrows.
I dont know if she knows i remember all that. She needs help getting dressed now. Sometimes she insists she could do it herself but only when she remembers she could. And because we didn't want her to see how much hair she was losing as a result of her chemo, my brother cut her knee-length hair short as short as his own. And instead of Angel's Face, we usually dab Johnson's baby powder on her face. Only that. We dont know how to use a celak on our face so we never tried it on hers.
I dont know what else she still remembers or if there is more she will forget but i know what i will remember. I will remember everything that she'd forgotten just so i can remind her of it if she wants to know. I will remember how many pillows she uses to sleep, i will remember how many more of her diapers left in the drawer, i will remember Abah said it was fish she had for dinner last night not chicken according to her, even that i will remember.
I will remember everything, every single little thing...even if she won't remember me.