Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Hear Me Do

Dua tiga hari ni, walaupun her memory cannot yet be 100% retrieved, Umi nampak ok. Ok as in...she's kinda come back to her old little self; bercakap almost tak berhenti updating us on other patients, like Popo Bed 20 tu gagap sebenarnya, or the Chinese granny Bed 18 tu kalau Umi tengok lama-lama ada iras-iras Wan (her own mom yang berketurunan Cina, yang also looked like a Chinese) or this other patient yang cubicle sebelah sana tu biasanya kalau dia pegi toilet mesti bawak her bla bla tapi entah kenapa hari ni tak bawak pulak... .

And i just let her.

Habis updating us on her wardmates, she'd politely complain pasal food. At times ada yang too tawar for her good taste, too big a portion for her to finish, too hard or just too soft to her liking. But i'm sure it's actually because Ngah has been spoiling her with some good home-made, selera-kampung kinda masakan yang tiada lah tandingannya dengan makanan yang dimasak untuk pesakit-hospital hospital. (This is meant as a compliment tau Ngah ;) ) So every so often when Ngah comes by with her mangkuk tingkat and what not, Umi would proudly tell the hospital staff (yang tugasnya mendistributekan food tu), supaya disimpan sahaja lah tray nya kerana dia tidak lagi berkehendakkan akan makanan yang dimasak banyak-banyak sebegitu.

And Umi would savour her ulam and sambal and lauk yang Ngah masak especially for her tu, with satisfaction...and pride. And that keeps Ngah cooking and tapau-ing.

And that keeps Umi busy...and that saves me...

...from talking! Coz help me God i just dont know how to hold a conversation with her! I bore Umi asking for the same things, day in and day out that she and i both would already know the answers to my same questions...even before i ask.

I'm a teacher. I speak and preach for hours in class that's my job but i cant hold a decent conversation with my own mom.

It's so depressing that I feel...handicapped.

So i pray...that my actions do and will forever speak louder than the few words i utter and that Umi can still hear me loud and clear.

There, whenever i'm next to her.


Enida said...

Hehehe can't forget how she thanked the Food Guy almost unnecessarily sarcastically and in her tone saying, "Who wants your makanan anyway!" by not saying it of course.

It's not like wa pigi all out and out of my way to masak pun kan. Tapi sebongok-bongok wa punya sup ikan, bongok lagi sawi rebus spital tu wa rasa, hai mou?

-Ngo Ngah

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Mas : )

Ni ucapan yang ke 18 setakat ni and you know who am I ... ha ha ha