Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Umi's Chemo - Part 1


Lepas hampir seminggu tertangguh, Umi dah mula chemo dua hari lepas. Mulanya kami tak tahu samada doktor akan teruskan rancangan chemo tu atau tak sebab lepas Umi balik dari cuti nya seminggu di kampung, doktor found out that Umi ada infections pulak. Kami tak tahu. Mana lah nak nampak dengan mata kasar jangkitan penyakit dah hinggap kat Umi. Umi pun nampak ceria je, tak complain apa-apa so kami pun tak lah bersyak wasangka. The only thing we saw was, kaki Umi bengkak. Entahkan banyak berjalan, entahkan banyak makan banyak minum. Maybe the doctors kesiankan Umi yang dah 3 bulan di katil wad tu, depa tak pesan pun suruh pantang itu pantang ini. Tak ingatkan pun supaya jangan minum banyak minum sikit. So Umi pun raikan lah kepulangannya tu.


Anyway, disebabkan infections tu, doktor buat keputusan nak buat liver biopsy pulak. Nak cari punca kenapa kakinya bengkak, and kenapa some parts in her tummy had unnecessary fluid. Chemo ditangguhkan. Infections tu kena diubat dulu. So buatlah pulak liver biopsy. Nak tahu results untuk itu, kena tunggu a week or two...so bila orang tanya bila Umi nak start chemo, kami pun tak tahu nak bagi jawapan pendek. Kenalah explain chronologically. Panjang lah jadi ceritanya. Lama lah jadi sembangnya.


Masa bawak Umi untuk liver biopsy, i dapat tahu yang multiple myeloma Umi, dah 'progress' dari Stage Satu, ke Stage Dua. In less than 2 minggu! It's not the kinda of progress we would wanna hear definitely. In fact tak tercapai akal i kenapa it should be termed as 'progress' pun. Tapi ye lah, apa lah yang i tahu.


After liver biopsy kami ingatkan kena tunggu resultsnya dulu baru Umi akan dichemokan, tapi tak. Doktor nak proceed with chemo terus, tak payah tunggu apa-apa lagi. I think it's because 'progress' Umi tu lah. But still, apa lah yang i tahu.


So Monday lepas, as soon as the doctors confirmed the date, kami pun berhimpun lah di katil Umi. I wasn't sure if chemo ni a big thing sebenarnya or tidak but to us, yang big deal nya Umi. So we kinda 'celebrated' the day by crowding her bed and ever so often asking, Umi ok? Nervous tak Mi? Sure ni Umi ok?


I guess it was apparent that we were more nervous than she. Letih jugak la gamaknya Umi menjawab soalan yang sama ditanya every 5 minutes.


And finally, as it was not promised, the first chemo was successfully done at 5.20pm. Looking at the staffnurse yang handle the procedure tu, seriau jugak rasanya. She was all covered, pakai robe, pakai gloves, pakai mask. When she asked us to duduk jauh sikit pun, we had to stare at her face yang almost semuanya hilang di balik mask tu...tak sure apa dia nak. But we were allowed to watch, tak ada radioactive yang akan terpercik or terlepas. So we watched...keeping our distance.


How it looked like was just macam cucuk masuk air yang botol tergantung tepi katil tu je. Cumanya, botol chemo tu, berbungkus macam bungkus cempedak kat pangkal pokok with a purple plastic, not old newspaper. Tube air yang panjang tu pulak warna hitam so even when we tried looking thru it, we couldn't see macam mana rupa benda alah yang masuk dalam badan Umi tu.


During the whole process mata i lebih melekat pada Umi. I waited for any changes in her facial expressions or any audible-surpressed cries and I was so ready to feel what she felt. In fact ada masa-masa nya, i rasa i lebih merasa daripada Umi as if nya. And that eye-contact remained for at least 10 minutes before i heard Umi tanya...Tu je?


Hehe...tu 'je' Mi.



...dah lah dulu ya, sambung esok.

1 comment:

ezasabari said...

Salam Kak,
Chemo is a simple procedure but the side effect on the patient is the one that we have to be prepared. I'm just sharing my experience taking care of my late father, brother and mak ( all suffered from different types of cancer).