Sunday, November 16, 2008

Umi's Chemo - Part 2

Just when we thought Umi was handling chemo relievingly well, she just went ahead and lost us...or more like we lost her. She stayed up all through the night wandering around the house, stood straight up on her bed one day and just forgot. She nodded claiming to remember who we were, but couldn't come up with a name other then her very own. Her stare was empty, her grip was weak. And all i could think of was that, we lost her. We lost her.

What if the last time she could remember was really gonna be the last? Was i kind to her the last time she could remember, was i kind? Oh dear god! The one thing that i fear most for myself is happening right before me and i could only imagine banging my head on the wall like she actually did. How could i have done it differently? Was there anything that i could have done differently?

I looked away. I stayed. She has to come back.

She has to come back.

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