I have managed to run away from here, for awhile. I have managed to not writing just so i wouldn't have to confront myself. I have selfishly denied the truth when the truth is not even about me.
I have convinced her of what i know for a fact. I have prepared her loved ones for what's coming. I have done what anybody would have done.
But what i have done hasn't changed the one fact that i do not know any better. That the words i said were what i needed to hear. The ones i consoled were my own fear.
Fight lah Ummi, sehabis kudrat ke hujung nyawa. Then come back.
We're there, where ever you are.
p/s: Ummi is diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a blood disorder cancer. Will undergo chemo and eventually blood transfusion. For now she's just happy to get to go home before the treatment episodes begin and continue for at least 12 weeks. Berkat doa semua, she's managing and coping very very well despite the new discovery, alhamdulillah.