Sunday, July 20, 2008

It's Time

A few times ago, i imagined taking care of my not-so-healthy mom. I imagined that i was strong. I imagined that there were no emotions because back then, when i was having all these imaginations, she was as healthy as any moms should be.


A few nights ago, my imagination turned partial-reality. Ummi got really sick. She was so sick that i didn't see her fighting whatever diseases that were taking over her body. She looked like she was giving up. And her not fighting made ME sick, with anger.


I cannot NOT have emotions.


I am not used to changing her diapers or feeding her and nag about energy. I am not prepared to toilet-train her and i don't know the best way to tell her to exercise without making her feel sicker than she already is.


Sometimes i think i am in denial.


Is it not the right way to feel?


8 comments:

wizcakes said...

You look exactly like your mum. Hope you find the extra strength Mas and whenever you need any kind of sweeetness at these trying times, just give me a hoot. I'll bring you some sweet treats, all on me.

Is your mum still at the hospital?

Effa Mas said...

Yes, my mom is still at the hospital. It's been almost a week now, if not counting the 6 nights she spent at the first hospital we took her to.

Thank you Wiz, for your sweet thoughts :) It really does make me feel lighter.

Wiz said...

Which hospital now? I may want to drop by to visit. But to bring cakes to ailing patience boleh ke? Hospital kat sebelah econsave tu ke?

Effa Mas said...

Now she's at HUKM Wiz. The doctors are moving her to a different ward so i will have to update you as soon as i know ya. Tq sesangat for your thoughts. Right now she's at Level 5, Surgery 2 Ward.

Visiting hours are
12.30 - 2pm &
4.30 - 7pm.
Weekend 12.30 - 7pm.

p/s: Cakes and apa-apa yang sewaktu dengannya adalah sangat dialu-alukan oleh 'pesakit' hehe.

Wiz said...

I was reading my comment when I spotted patience! gosh! Earlier I was correcting a few students on the difference between patients and patience and here I am doing just that. Dah bengong dah kawe!

Anyway, will try to go visit your mum. Are you there taking care of her?

Effa Mas said...

Hi Wiz, my mom is at Level 6, Ward Perubatan 4, HUKM. There are having some constructions work here and there, so getting to the ward could be a maze.

My siblings and i take turn to care for her, but we are there everyday, from whatever time we can get away from work till the visiting hours are over.

Thank you Wiz :)

I'm leaving you my phone number here, just in case ya.
019-2846101

Effa Mas said...

Okay...now it's my turn. It should have been 'construction workS' instead of 'constructionS work'.

We are two very concerned people about mistakes kan Wiz hehe. We just have to make sure other people know that our mistakes, are made BY mistake.

I think it's good. (nak cover for my own mistake made la ni hehe)

vivian soon said...

Just be patient to what you are facing now
You HAVE TO be STRONG enough to mentally support ur mum
Who will take care of her if you are the one who sick
Just take all this as wat you all muslim always said:
Take this as one of the cabaran from Allah
Gambateh!!!!!!!